There are four poems on this page and they are arranged in the order that I wrote them. I love that each of them was true to my life at some point in time.
The Feeling
Have you ever had this feeling that was so intense that what you were about to do was going to be so spectacular? So intense that you just knew and you tried so hard to put these negative thoughts in your head so you would feel better if it didn’t work out like you wanted it to, but they were overcome by positive ones.Something that is so certain, like reading a fact out of a book.
It was first day of the GLVC swimming and diving championship meet. I was behind the starting blocks,jumping around not only to get my body loose, but to scare away the nerves. The spectators and coaches were on my right side and my teammates were on my left. The music was blaring in the building, but I couldn’t tell you what song it was. I tried hard to block out all of my surroundings, but it was difficult to not lose focus. There was so much going on around me, and so much going through my head.
Reverse to January when we went on our training trip in Hawaii. It was a tough training trip for me. I wasn’t producing solid times; I was being outswam by my teammates who don’t work nearly as hard as I do. I lacked the confidence that I felt like I needed in order to swim well at this meet.
Fast forward to race day in February and it’s time. “It’s okay if I don’t swim well in this race. It’s not really my event and no one is here to watch me crash and burn.” I tried to tell myself all of these negative things to try to make it okay to justify why I wouldn’t swim well. But every time I would say something negative, my body would say “you’re wrong”. My thoughts instead said, “this is going to be a good one and you know it”. I just knew, somehow, that this was going to be something special. This swim was going to be something great and my body was just filled with good nerves and a good anxious feeling. I wanted to get in the pool and swim so badly. I wanted to get the race over with and just see how fast I was about to go. I knew, I just knew that this was going to be it. This was going to be the swim of my weekend. My body was telling me, my mind and thoughts were telling me, more importantly, my heart was telling me. I just needed to get out of my own way and listen to what they were actually saying.
Fake Smile
She is confident on the outside, calm, cool, collected.
Always making sure that no one knew what was going on,
what was wrong on the inside.
“Are you ok?” a sympathetic friend asks with a worried look on her face.
Frantically searching for an answer,
Any answer,
Like the math problem you didn’t know the answer to,
or maybe just the truth.
“I’m fine.”
The Outsider
I walk in the open door that says,
“The University of Indianapolis Swimming and Diving”
The heat hits you like a brick wall and the air smells like chlorine.
It is four o’clock in the afternoon and the pool is filled with people.
College swimmers to be exact.
They look like they are all working hard.
Each lane is doing something different.
Some people are kicking with this little piece of Styrofoam,
others are swimming with this little white band around their ankles.
I only watch for a minute as I wish to come back later at view this space while no one is here.
It is now seven o’clock at night.
No one is in the pool other than one girl.
She was here earlier,
at four, swimming with the team.
I see that she is swimming slowly,
her coach telling her what to do.
Not wanting to be intrusive, I decide to come back later.
It is now 7 o’clock in the morning.
Surely no one is in the pool at this hour, right?
I walk through the door again and notice that the area is empty except for one girl.
The same girl that was in the pool yesterday both times I came in.
She is alone.
She wears a swimming cap with the flying “I” on it,
her last name also appears on it.
I look to the board that is directing in front of me;
it is the All-American Board.
Her name does not appear there.
I look to my right and find another board,
the team record board and look for her name.
Again,
I do not see it.
Like a dog wants a treat,
she must really want her name up there.
Fall Weather
Don’t you love this time of year?
When the leaves change color
And the weather gets duller
At least Halloween is here.
The kids in costumes come out to play
Teens go to the haunted houses
Dads watch football on Sundays in the clubhouses
All while the grandparents drive to see the leaves in their Chevrolet
Halloween begins the holiday season
The time to spend with family and friends
Officially when summer ends
But the warmth and joy are a lasting reason.
Katie's Creative Writing 